Blog

Loving service (freedom) or bartering via service (bondage)?

What the video here: https://youtu.be/JEnXOh4E_lE

here’s the notes for the video:

For many years I in bondage and called in service, but it wasn’t love, it was bartering service for acceptance and self-worth. In my occupation in church, in relationships and in romance, I had to ‘save’ to be worthy of their ‘love’.

Here’s some thoughts on this.

1. Am I engaging in loving service?
   1. If so, pay attention of what you require back. Are you bartering or truly giving?
2. Or am I hoping for a relationship?
   1. If so, pay attention of the two sides of participation that a true interpersonal relationship requires.

Bartering service

1. Drawn to suffering to Save, needing a particular outcome.
   • They love me back
   • They accept my religion/beliefs/culture
2. From a place of lack.
   • I think the other helps complete me. I need them.
3. Makes you special/better/worthy of love.
4. from separation. See sickness and lack.
5. from need

Loving Service

1. Drawn to suffering as a natural impulse without specific outcome.
   • They need not love me back, stay with me, or even like me.
   • They need not agree with my views of life, politics, the universe, god, etc.
2. From abundance.
   • I am complete. I do not need the other…
   • At the deepest level I am aware there is no other, only One.
3. Feel you are just taking care of own body, like putting a bandage on your hurt little finger.
4. From unity. See wholeness and wealth.
5. From abundance.
6. Baba quote:
   • Service without love is deplorable
   • Service with love is acceptable
   • Love without service is divine (Sathya Sai Baba)

Basic Whole Relationship

I find out what you want/value and support you in getting it, and am happy at your success/progression.

You find out what I want/value, and support me in getting it, and am happy at my progression/success.

With the intentional support from both parties, it doesn’t require sexual interaction or physical proximity to work, even though that is a most lovely part.

With sex and physical proximity and not these basics, it’s not a whole relationship, it’s a bartering of felt needs between the relational parties, and satisfaction is lost.