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Why Negotiating Doesn’t Work (ultimately).

This is a level 2 concept. Level 1 is the ways of man, ego and the idea that you can be a separate special person that can gain and lose. Level 2 though is to realize that separation is just a projected perception, a judgment you attempt to place outside yourself onto a perceived other (that isn’t there).

Level 1. Negotiating is giving what you have that you value less, don’t mind losing in order to gain what you value more. 

Level 2. Give what you value most in order to have it all. 

A Course In Miracles says “Judgment is the setting of a price. And as you set it you will pay it… To price is to value.” 

Level 1. Negotiating makes sense only if my judgment is “paying = getting”. This never works though, because price = value. So when I pay as little as possible to gain something else of value, I diminish the value of what I want and if I gain it, I am dissatisfied, as I have stripped it’s apparent value. 

Level 2. Negotiating is not possible if my judgment is “paying = giving”. The apparent world of giving is abundant and the reciprocal relationship of giving and receiving is instantly experienced. Price = value, so the higher price I give, the more I value what is received as I give and the more satisfied, content I am. 

Level 1. A man negotiates a deal to buy a car and criticizes every aspect of the car to be able to take it from the seller at a lower price. If he has the car and loses less of his dollars to the other person he wins. He knows he got a good deal if the other person feels bad for losing the car for so little. He rejoices when he learns of the tragedy of the seller that has forced him to sell the car for far less than the market price as he needs the money today. He leaves happy as he has successfully taken what he wanted. But is he happy? In the moment of the transaction being completed, what has really happened. He is not happy because he won the negotiation by taking from another at a low price, he experiences happiness because of his release of judgment that he is “wanting” the car. “I need that car. I want that car.” This is not a fact, this is a judgment. With that judgment released (aka forgiven) he gets to experience for a moment a less distorted aspect of his self that always been, but been covered up by all the incessant “wanting” and “resisting” that we trudge through live creating. What happens after he feels so good about winning the car negotiation by paying little and demanding much? What happens is he sets his judgments, his filters he looks through, to see the world as a scarce place that you need to take to gain, that the other needs to lose for you to win. Through those filters (judgments) the world is dangerous and if you are not careful others will take from you, so protect yourself and your own. The best this can give is, “Today we feast for tomorrow we die!” as the body in the world of separate people always dies in the end. Pretty tragic. Ultimately, if you live in level 1, this is your unassailable enemy that is constantly lurking to devore you and all you value. It’s a rough neighborhood, Level 1. 

Can we move to a better neighborhood to get out of the hood? Yes, but it requires giving up your judgments of how things are. Level 2 does not make sense to Level 1. But as it is said, “The ways of God are beyond the ways of man.” Learning may help prepare you, but that’s not even enough. You must give up and let go to be able to receive the miracle of Knowledge. 

Level 2. A man goes to buy a car. He looks out and sees a world of friends, all of them out there are just like him. We all want to be happy, be safe, have friends, and enjoy our life and our stuff. He finds a car and he feels the joy within him rise. He contacts the seller and offers him a price that he wants to spend. The seller says, “I can’t do that price, but I will take this price, just a bit more if you buy it today, as I am in great need.” The man considers how much he can spend and offers another price in the middle of the two offers that he can come up with that same day. The seller agrees. The man then asks, “I do love this car, thank you for your flexibility. And may I ask, what is the urgency, why must you sell this car today?”. The seller says, “This has been a second vehicle for me. I bought it because it was my dream car just to enjoy it on the weekend. But my business has a dire need for cash to be able to buy the material to make the widgets we sell. I have a large order that just came in, but in order to close the sale I need to make the widgets first, which is cash out of pocket up front. I am still very short of the money I need to fulfill the full order, but this money from this sale helps.” The man happens to be in the world of finance and says, “That is quite the pickle. Ya know, I know some other people that can give you a loan based on your purchase order that you have in hand. They are kind of pricey, but it may get you finished so you can make that big sale. Would you like an introduction?” And thus a deal was done, and a friend was made and possibly another source of fortune would come of it. 

Who knows how these things will work out. But one thing is for sure, when the man gives all he can he finds he can give more, and the more he gives the more value he finds in the world. Initially more friends, more happiness, more connection, more love. The money and the stuff may or may not be there, but why do we want money and stuff? We want it to be happy. Why take the long way of level 1. Instead, love all you see, give all you can, see everyone as your friend, be curious and open your heart and give more of what you know, the words of peace and knowledge you have, as you teach so you will learn. This is happiness in the middle of a world that is indifferent to particular conditions. Don’t demand a condition to be happy. Want what you have and give what you can and discover the happiness that is already who you are. This is Level 2. 

Jevon Perra

Jevon Perra: Spirit seeker, Light worker, healer, human behavior teacher, speaker, pastor, coach.

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