The saying goes, “You can help a 1000, but can’t carry 3 on your back.”
What you do for another that they can do for themselves makes them weaker. Helping others do what they can do for themselves does not make them stronger.
Managers, parents and the others out there that “need” someone else to do well, please consider. If you are doing for others what they are able to do for themselves (presentations, homework, dishes, laundry, reports, paying bills, etc.) is it really for their good or for you to feel good? … My experience is that most of the time this sort of action is a selfish action on the caretaker’s part.
This is an act of taking, which is selfish and about you avoiding feeling back, feeling uncomfortable that someone else looks in an unbecoming way and feeling like when they look bad it is a bad reflection on you. This is a selfish and taking act. Notice I did not say a selfish person or a taker. My belief is the person is good, the actions come from unhealthy beliefs that don’t work. Actions that use others and harm others to be self serving just do not work.
Here is why, it’s the struggle of a worthy cause that brings the highest life. 🙂
So, all of you that are well intended, but keep the people you care about weak and crippled by your caretaking, consider this before you “help” again. When you do for them what they can do for themselves you are crippling them.
I have written more on the attitudes and beliefs that support strength for those that report to us and are in our lives. How you come to any situation is what makes the difference, not the situation itself. Go HERE for information on my book on how to transform yourself into the supporter and catalyst for profitable change, instead of the caretaker.