Why self-talk works

The world has NO meaning.
Strange thought I know, but let me explain why this is awesome news.
Like you probably, I do see meaning everywhere though. So where does the meaning come from? Why do I know it’s “Bad” when I get told “no”, or “I don’t like you”, etc?
I am the one that determines meaning. We are all meaning machines. We walk around judging and determining the meaning of every single meaningless circumstance that passes through our senses. We have elevated ourselves to god in our lives. More on why this is a problem in general, but if you’d like to be a better demi-god to yourself consider this:

My self-talk determines the meaning I assign to the meaningless situations that unfold in front of me.

Self-talk is not an incantation that will force the world to change. Self-talk is a way of aligning/changing my focus-thoughts-beliefs so that I can place a different meaning on the circumstances that do not change.

  • Like the classic story of the boy digging in the pile of manure. It’s either “I’m stuck in a pile of sh*t” or “There’s gotta be a pony here somewhere!”.
  • Or like the loan officer that get’s another “NO”. It’s either “I suck at this job” or “Sweet, that’s my 1st no’s down, 7 more to go till I get my big, ‘yes!'”
  • Or like the twin boys that grew up with an abusive alcoholic dad. One was a drunk and an abuser just like his dad. The other was a successful businessman and loving father. Both were asked how they turned out that way and the both said, “Well, my dad was a really bad alcoholic so…”

This is why Einstein said, “”I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’” The reason, of course, is that if you believe it’s not, it will show up for you accordingly.
95% of what we think about is automatically circulated around and is not new. It’s the same old things that your mind takes and keeps spinning them without your conscious effort.
Here’s the self-fulfilling cycle:
These automatically circulated thoughts are what make beliefs.
Beliefs determine how you see the world.
How you see the world determines how you engage with it.
How you engage with it determines your results.
Your results confirm your beliefs.
And the self-fulfilling cycle continues.
So what!?

So look on the bright side. It really does Matter.
So assume the best in people. It’s really there, even if they didn’t intend it.
So give and give and love and love. It’s all coming back to you in ways you can’t imagine.

Every ‘bad’ situation can just as easily be a ‘good’ situation. Might as well call it ‘perfect’ and ‘good’ for you for where you are at that moment and keep on trucking to your goal!

 

Jevon Perra

Since 1995 Jevon Perra has been helping individuals and organizations get results as a human behavior teacher, speaker, pastor and performance coach. Jevon is a professional at getting individuals and organizations to the results they want. He has extensive experience in leadership development, sales coaching and personal coaching. Jevon has worked with businesses from start-ups to established corporations. Education and Background • Center for Advanced Coaching: Advanced Coaching Master Certification • Fierce Conversations Trainer Certification • Alpha Assessment Certification • Art of Negotiation Certification • Negotiation Lab Certification • CROI Coaching Academy Coach Certification • Minus Zero Fierce Coaching Certification • 16 years of speaking, teaching and coaching • Top Producing Salesman in Real Estate and B2B Sales • CA Broker’s License • Missouri Southern State University • Calvary Chapel School of Ministry

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