All of us can probably come up with how we wish we could be.
“I wish I could be more confident.”
“I wish I wasn’t intimidated by my boss (or the pretty girl, or handsome guy).”
“I wish I wasn’t afraid to go for what I want.”
Even if we were to say “I want to be more confident.” “I want to love again.” Wanting is very similar to wishing. In the nature of the language it reveals that you do not have it. Old English actually used the word “wanting” for communicating a lack there of. If someone had a poor disposition and was not pleasant to be around, it would be said that he is “wanting a good disposition.” But knowing what you want, or lack is a good place to start. So who do you wish you could be? Who do you want to be?
To change a wish or a want into reality starts with changing your language. Our language reveals the heart. Ancient scripture says from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Language reveals what you believe. These words lead to our actions. What we will work on now is reverse engineering this process. If words reveal what you believe, then could it be possible to intention and choose the words that would reveal a belief that you have been wishing and wanting for yourself? Can you create a belief by willing it to be through language? My experience says you can.
What would that look like? If you go from saying, “I wish I was courageous”, to “I am committed to be courageous”, that’s a whole different feel. ‘Committed to’ has got more bite then ‘wish’ or ‘want’. If I asked you to meet me for coffee tomorrow morning at 5AM and you said, “I wish I could meet you in the morning,” I would not expect you to be there. Now, if you said, “Jevon, I am committed to being there,” this is a whole new level of intention. Saying that you are committed to be there creates a promise and we enter into agreement to make that event happen.
So I am committed to be courageous is good. And it is still presupposes that you are not there yet. You are committed to get there, yet you aren’t there yet. But what if you were to say, “I am courageous.” That is powerful. That is who you are right now in this moment.
This is a common thought that may be coming up for you right now. “Wait! I can’t say that! I am not courageous! That is why I was wishing for it earlier. I am scared to death of the same stuff still. What are you talking about just saying, ‘I am courageous?’” If declaring who you are, based on who you wish you were is a stretch for you, worry not. This is normal. And trust me. This is the process of becoming who you wish you were. It’s not going to “feel” true. This is good. If everything felt right and true, that would be telling you that you are familiar with the thoughts and actions that you are engaging in. If you are familiar with the thoughts and actions that you are engaging in, this means you are in the process of creating for your life what you have always been and what you have always had. So, if you feel awkward or things and thoughts don’t feel ‘right’, this is a good sign. You are entering into new space. This is where creating and transformation happens. This is also why most people don’t change. It is often very uncomfortable to enter into this space.
You are who you say you are. Now is the time to dream. Who do you want to be? Who do you wish you could be? What are those characteristics that the higher version of you would embody? Once you make a characteristic into an “I AM’ statement, you then can easily see if your actions support or weaken that declaration of “I am courageous”.
The 90 Day New Life Exercise
Suggestion before you start:
This exercise is a process to act out. If you try to ‘figure it out’ before hand, that is like trying to find ‘the answer’ to your question. Like I mentioned above, “the answer” will only seem like “the answer” to you because it is in alignment with your past and what you already think is true. If something lines up with what you already think is true and you embrace it and think it and do it, you will end up getting what you have always had. This exercise is about creating new and abundant life. More then you have ever had. This is not a “think” exercise. This is a “do” exercise. What you think is not important here. It is all fine and good. As long as you do the steps below you will experience a possibility for new life. I promise.
Write down at least 10 people that you admire.
Think big and out of the box. These people can be dead or alive, real or fiction, known or unknown by you.
Now write out 30 characteristics that you admire and resonate with the most.
What are those ways of being? What is it about those people that really attract you? Keep writing until you get 30. Honesty, courage, adventurous, loving, giving, stead-fast, wise, authentic, willing to fight… Write ‘em down! Even if one comes to you that isn’t a part of any of the people you admire, put those down too. The hero and people you admire is just a great way to come up with the characteristics you resonate with the most. Getting clear on the characteristics is most important.
Pick your top 5 characteristics.
The characteristics are reminders of who you ‘want’ to be. But remember, “wanting” is nothing more then a wish or a fantasy, which doesn’t do you much good, save take you out of the present moment.
Write out your chosen top 5 characteristics as “I AM” statements.
You can completely change your whole life in 90 days if you are intentional about it. As with the examples above, if courage was one of your characteristics, you write, “I am courageous.” Write them as a note in your phone, email them to yourself, write them on your hand and on paper. Carry them around. Write them on your mirror and on your fridge.
Pick the one “I AM” statement that you want to be true the most.
In the morning when you rise, begin with reminding yourself of all five “I AM” statements. This is who you are. Remind yourself to notice when you are or are not acting like it. Now you have reminders of all the statements so you are reminded often. This first week of this 90 process integral in the process. With that, you are going to set an alarm (on your phone or get a cheap kitchen timer) and remind yourself of your #1 “I AM” statement EVERY HOUR through out the day. Remind yourself of who you are. Remind yourself to act like it is true. Have an alarm beep or sound every hour on the hour for a week. This may take a total of 3 seconds and can be all in your head. So no, “I don’t have the time” stuff. It is the repetition for the first week that is of the utmost importance.
Recap so far: In the morning when you get up and in the evening when you go to bed, remind yourself of all five “I AM”s. This is who you say you are. And throughout the day, on every hour, remind yourself of just your #1 “I AM” statement. You can switch different statements for different days. The repetition of one of the five is the important part.
For week two you remind yourself of all five “I AM” statements 3 times a day. In the morning, at lunch and then remind yourself right before going to bed.
Weeks 3 – 12:
For weeks 3 – 12 remind yourself who you choose to be in the morning and the evening.
90 days total. This is reinventing yourself!
What you will notice:
When your actions do not match who you say you are it will be increasingly apparent. Following this plan, the habits and ways of being that you are blind to will become more and more apparent.
How you ‘feel’ during this exercise is not important. Your feelings do not matter. This is creating a new pattern in your brain and a new belief of who you are. This is creating a new normal.
The evening and morning reminder for yourself are very important. Get up and get your brain going on a path that will support you through out the day. When sleeping your body slows down, but your brain is still going! So remind your brain who you are so it can work with it and help you out while you are sleeping!
When your words and your actions are aligned in an intentional way, they create new beliefs and habits. When beliefs and words and actions are aligned with your intention, there is nothing that can stop it from happening.
Hope that is helpful!
Here are a few of the characteristics that I still remind myself that I AM.
I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
I am so thankful! I love and act on “What would love do?”
I AM A MAN OF IMPACT
I DO WHAT I’M AFRAID TO DO.
I am God’s CHOSEN ONE, Ambassador and Representation.
I am intentionally in the lives around me to re-mind. It is my soul purpose.
I am So Grateful and Thankful to God right Now for my success that I have and the success that is coming!
God Favors Me.
I am Creative, Tenacious, Confident, Decisive, Proactive, Inspiring, Skilled, Self Motivated and Disciplined. I attract similar people to me.
I SHOW UP as the one responsible. THE BUCK STOPS HERE.
I am present in every moment. I lean into the pain. I love in the face of being hurt. I empower. I remember your name.
I surround myself with those greater than me in order to better myself and go for more..
I participate fully now! I am ‘Ready to fight’. I am at the height of my physical health.
EVERYTHING I SAY I DO. EVERY TIME I’M ASKED I GIVE.
Wealth and Prosperity are continuously coming to me.
I am blessed.